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Semi-Charmed kinda life :)'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Semi-Charmed kinda life :)

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(9 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

New journal.........ADD ME!!! [09 Feb 2003|02:17am]
[ mood | nerdy ]


(6 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

Im drowning slowly..... [06 Feb 2003|07:03pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Last night was Something Corporate the concert I have been waiting for my whole life. It was amazing! Umm hmpif….well yeah lots of good stoires..but I wont share cuz im lazy like that! Anywaz…today was a shitty day…I was tired..in a bad mood and yeah it was shitty I think I cried like 4 times today…maybe it was just cuz I was tired or the fact that every in our school bothers me…or ppl are assholes to me…I dunno all I know is I had a pitty party for myself indeed to day..but it felt good…I like the days when I am so self absored!! The weirdest part was the one person who makes me feel like shit….has been one of the reason’s I have stayed level headed this week….werid! Well hopefully sat. I can go snowboarding…my mom said YES…I just wonder how long it will be till that is changed! Well I think im gonna go watch serendipity!

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

"I didn't breathe when you spoke. I was afraid I'd miss a word." [01 Feb 2003|05:19pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

"I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome,I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that -- at least for ten seconds -- and try to dwell in it. I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me"


(8 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

Everytime i try to make u smile...u always feel sorry for urself! [28 Jan 2003|02:58pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Woah..ive been thinking sooo much lately...which is not nessciarly a bad thing..this entry will most likely contain some bitching and what not..so if u have a problem with that.. DONT READ IT thanks, anywaz...ive been thinking about umm lets just call him the surfer and this is pointless..he only keeps me there when its good for HIM ugggh! I just want everything to be ok..i want to be in 8th grade again..when everything was so innocent..and we didnt really know what its like to feel pain,regret,love,happiness! Ughh those were the days...when the only thing that mattered more than the dances every 3 months were who ur best friends r...now we could all give a shit..i swear to god highschool is the "survial of the fittest" no joke...it feels like there no1 ever really there backing u 100% and it feels like the ppl i used to know...just r falling away..and the ppl i never thought would be there..are...and thats so awsum! I dunno im just very BLAH right now..im sick of too many things..i miss too many ppl...but i dont ever want to go back..im just trying to be content in life...and if *you* are apart of that then u R...but if not thats life..it goes on!

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

japaNfour311: have a penis in your face [24 Jan 2003|11:58am]
[ mood | determined ]

::For Him::

so this is odd
the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover's clothes
and burned the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?

And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

::Words that im hearing are starting to get old:: [23 Jan 2003|12:48pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Pssh..hmif well lets see...not alot..this week! Monday Sarah Josh Brittany and i went snowboarding...we meet Fudge and kids up there it was good..always is "Ur body is a wonderland.." "Yeah i wonder about it too" haha shyeah this week has been finals and constant fighting with the adults..its pretty nice..i love gettin yelled at fer nothing er what seems like nothing..well anywaz..finals r over..what the shit i knew i did bad..damn school! Oo well...now im just sittin here bored..EXTREMELY BORED..ugh blah..i was supposed to go sumwhere..but im cool and cant so yeah welp im gettin off here..i hate this bloody thing sumtimes...pssh! what a day

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

well love just leads you threw stuff you normally wouldnt belive/do for anyone [19 Jan 2003|07:03pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Hmm i have been at sarahs all weekend...me family is in chicago...and yeah im adopted her for the weekend...Yesterday we had our comp. JV got 2nd and Varsity got 1st it was sweeet i suppose!! After the comp Josh came back to sarahs with us..we all layed aroud and slept all day it was cute..then i got sad..cuz we all started talking and i was all mad about Nhoj and Josh made me feel better about that sititaion...cuz hes an awsum boy like that...i know what i need to dude..i just wish i had the strength! Hmif..i dunno im going now..my lips r chapped! OH and another sweet thing i got into sum pointless fight with Brad but w.e hes queer!

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

Help me 2 understand how u got in my life again! [16 Jan 2003|08:57pm]
Well lets see ive been sick all week it rules..i enjoy it! Ugh, i didnt go to school today..i was sad **sarcasm** i slept all day..finished watching chasing amy (good flick)..slept sum more...me family left for the windy city..and im in me lonesome darn! I shall recover just fine...anywaz...im gonna go to bed...my head weighs 100 millon pounds!

-- for the life me..i cant not remember what made us think that we were wise --

(1 loser | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

japaNfour311: he doesnt like it and its old [10 Jan 2003|10:34pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Ugh u make me sick........

=( everytime i get this lil hope like theres a chance for summthin or anything...it always goes to shit!!

(1 loser | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

Picture me drowning pretending im happy we end up regreting the things we dont try.. [07 Jan 2003|03:20pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Well it was a gay day at school..hmm...im really sore i havent had cheerleading in like 34324 years and yah yesterday i had practice..i wanted to die...i think i should start being more nice too ppl thats me new years resoultion...but yeah! anywaz i think im gonna take a nap b4 me game!

" and no i dont feel right..i can see that ive lost my site "

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

:: Destiny knocking at me door :: Leave it all behind, dont let it get you down:: [02 Jan 2003|07:42pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Hmph..Yesterday was pry the greatest time in a loonngg time...Sarah, Fudge, Joshua, and I went snowboaring! At first sarah and I were like dammit...well acuatlly i was then we both ended up doing good...i even have brusies to prove it woop woop!! HAHA anywaz...now im sittin here listening to me mother fight with her mom..its kinda cool..now she knows how crappy i feel everyday! BLAH..anywaz..i had a talk with me parents today about breaking up with Brad..they told me stuff and gave me alot of advice..alot of it was pretty gay..but sum helped...anywaz aim calls

(1 loser | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

'cause being alone isn't really all that bad [01 Jan 2003|12:47am]
[ mood | sympathetic ]

I pry just did the meanest thing....but im sorry i just need to be a alone for right now

I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love,
But you're still the one that I'm dreaming of.
I guess that it's you I want to hold onto,

I really wanna call you, but I know that it's not right.
I probably shouldn't tell you but I dreamed of you last night


(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

** Ive been making my plans...Ive been saying me goodbyes ** [30 Dec 2002|05:52pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

Hmm last night i went to sarahs...we went with Fudge and his momma to Chris's soccer game..then i went back to sarahs...Sarah,Britt,Lauren,and I all went to the movies and donnie and them were there..we seen hot chic it was funny..i laughed..then sarah and i were supposed to go snowboarding this morning but it was raining so were gonna go like sum other time this week...anywaz..im really bored..so yeah peace,love, and harry pottter...

(3 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

** so confused ** [27 Dec 2002|02:03pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

What may be the best thing for you to do
Sometimes it the hardest thing for you to do
And thats real
Cause I know that I love you
I know how I feel about you
But I also know that don't make everything alright
And for that reason
I gotta say goodbye

Tell me have you ever been in a
Situation where the best thing you could do
Is the hardest thing you've ever done
But you try to do whats right
And I know that deep down inside
That I really wanna be there by your side

i wish i could just sleep forever
I hate wut im going threw..i love my mom so much i hate to see him hurt her the way he is

(2 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

And im tired of pretending i dont love you anymore....... [21 Dec 2002|08:46pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

"Amelia you need to be fair to him...u cant play with people emotions or push them away, the way you do...once there gone...they wont come back.."


(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

**Try to tell my self im gonna be alright** [19 Dec 2002|11:03am]
[ mood | thirsty ]

Im sick of this house...Im alone right now...i stayed home from school..I like being alone...for once im not gettin screamed at...or laughed at er any thing...I need to start going to school..but i really am to tired haha

**ur guiltless and free..i hope YOU take a piece of me with u..and there are thing i would like to do that u dont belive in..i would like to bulid summthin...ull never see it happen..and theres this buring like theres always been**

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

When i came to visit u thats when i knew that i could never have u... [14 Dec 2002|07:32am]
[ mood | numb ]

Maybe i'm just unsure of what I want right now,but i dont think its worth losing you..even though sometimes i wish i did.

(3 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

" Just cuz he dont love u like u want to be loved..dont mean he dont love u with all he has..." [11 Dec 2002|03:38pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Im sorry...

i guess my feelings have changed.

(Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

:: Im sorry if i made u cry :: [04 Dec 2002|10:07pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

but still you treat me like you do
with everything I've done for you...

things r good...=)


(3 losers | Rasie ur hand if ur a loser..)

::: If only :::: [29 Nov 2002|09:18am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

ugh...shoot i hate it here..of course my parents r fighting about me and how i suck again..i dont understand why he hates me..i guess i never will

**anywayz..thanksgiving was fine i guess..i was wishing i was sumwhere else tho whole time...but we had good cheesecake**

**Today brads supposed to come over..i dont know if JIM will agree to it..**

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